1 BIG BROTHER The second season of watching people locked up in a house vote one another out. It’s filmed in the New York City mayor’s mansion.
2 ”DOH” Homer Simpson’s epithet made the Oxford English Dictionary. Definition? It’s what you say if you misspell it.
3 HOAX O’ THE DAY Britney Spears was not in a car accident. J. Lo is not pregnant. Eric Clapton is not retiring. We’ll install your DSL line tomorrow.
4 A.I. The story of a childlike robot who wants to become a real little boy. Instead, he became President.
5 JAY LENO UNPLUGGED He did an entire show with little or no electricity. Big deal — Ted Koppel does it every night.
6 DR. DOLITTLE 2 Eddie Murphy talks to animals again, which is extraordinary. Most doctors can’t even talk to their patients.
7 GOLF TRADING CARDS $72 a box for your favorite players. I’ll trade you a Toshimitsu Izawa and a Dudley Hart for a Thongchai Jaidee.
8 THE QUEEN’S JAGUAR A dirty magazine and a swastika were hidden inside her new ride. Whoops! They sent her Prince Philip’s car.
9 YOU DON’T KNOW JACK The popular computer quiz becomes a TV game show. Winners get to actually meet Jack.
10 SQUARE WATERMELONS A Japanese company grows them in glass containers so they’ll fit in the fridge more easily. And you’ll love their bread-shaped tomatoes.
11 CANDLES A study says burning candles releases harmful particles into the air of your house. So does my cooking.
12 VIEQUES The Navy says there’s no better island to test live ammunition. Haven’t they heard of Martha’s Vineyard?
13 LUKE & LAURA General Hospital’s long-suffering couple are splitting up after 20 years. It’s the seventh-worst thing that’s ever happened to them.
14 LISA ”LEFT EYE” LOPES Footballer Andre Rison got engaged to her seven years after she burned down his mansion. They’re registered at State Farm Insurance.
15 PEARL HARBOR FASHION Some designers thought the ’40s dress would be big this summer. Was $130 million, now $20.