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What To Watch

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Monday February 19

8-8:30PM
The King Of Queens (CBS, TV-PG) In the twisted logic department, Carrie and Doug decide that sex is ruining their relationship.

9-11PM
The Unfinished Civil War (History Channel, TV-G) You mean, those aren’t actually reenactments going on in Gettysburg?

9-9:30PM
Everybody Loves Raymond (CBS, TV-PG-D) Ray worries the twins may be packing pixie dust when the boys volunteer to be fairies in the school play.

9-11PM*
Abraham And Mary Lincoln: A House Divided (PBS, TV-G) American Experience presents a six hour study of the lives of the Great Emancipator and his somewhat loony wife. (Concludes Feb. 21.) *Check Local Listings

Season Premiere 10-10:30PM
Daria (MTV, TV-PG) Lawndale High goes caffeine crazy when Principal Li accepts a corporate sponsorship from Ultra Cola.

Season Premiere 10:30-11PM
2gether (MTV, TV-14) Left without a record label or home at the end of last season, the boys of 2gether go ”pirate style,” taking their act underground to elude the cops. But What-ev Records will do anything to get the group back under contract, including taking band member Q.T. (played by the recently deceased Michael Cuccione, upper right) hostage. As usual, the laughs are hit and miss, but there’s something reassuring about seeing a boy band actually in on the joke. B+

Tuesday February 20

Syndicated*
Curtis Court (TV-PG) When two friends argue over a snake and two rats, they go to America’s foremost expert, Susan Hawk. *Check Local Listings

8-10PM
Epicenter (UPN, TV-PG) Cons: It’s another earthquake movie. Pros: It stars Traci Lords.

8-9PM
The Mole (ABC, TV-PG-L) You ever notice how half of this show every week consists solely of people asking for directions?

9-9:30PM
Frasier (NBC, TV-PG) Niles asks Daphne to go on a diet. Daphne tells Niles to shut up and pass the HO HOs.

9-10PM
MTV Uncensored: The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue 2001 (MTV, TV-PG) Now, exactly how uncensored are we talking about here?

10-11PM
Judging Amy (CBS, TV-PG) The family starts falling apart when Peter and Gillian lose little Ned.

8-9:15PM
The Target Shoots First (Cinemax, TV-PG) When college grad Christopher Wilcha (left) took on a job at Columbia House music club in 1993, he brought with him a camcorder and his punk rock attitude; miraculously, he was allowed to keep both. Wilcha could have easily used his boardroom and backroom access to craft a snide assault on big business. Instead, his open minded approach and can do credo are inspiring. A Brian M. Raftery

Wednesday February 21

8-9PM
Ed (NBC, TV-PG) John Goodman triumphantly returns to television respectability, guesting as a Stuckeybowl suitor.

8-9PM*
Mayday! Lost At Sea (PBS, TV-G) National Geographic explores the dangers facing commercial fishing boats, with testimonials from survivors of sunken vessels. *Check Local Listings

8:30-9PM
Grounded For Life (Fox, TV-PG) Lily’s dream of an expensive ski getaway get avalanched by Sean’s desire for a new six string.

Ralph Malph Alert! 9-10PM
Star Trek: Voyager (UPN, TV-PG) Don (formerly ”Donny”) Most guest stars as an evil alien who commands Tuvok to sit on it.

9-10PM
The West Wing (NBC, TV-14) The surgeon general’s views on marijuana send Bartlet’s family relations up in smoke.

8-11PM
The 43rd Annual Grammy Awards (CBS, TV-14) We love Paul McCartney, but nominating the ex Beatle in the Best Alternative Music Album category seems almost as bizarre as Jethro Tull’s winning the inaugural metal award. Not quite so odd: performances from Madonna (left), U2, and Eminem.

Thursday February 22

8-9PM
Survivor: The Australian Outback (CBS) Where’s Superpole when you need it? The Ogakor tribe struggles to catch fish, while Kucha has food problems of its own.

8-9PM
Ted Nugent: The Motor City Madman (A&E, TV-G) Eternal props to anyone who puts out an album called If You Can’t Lick ‘Em … Lick ‘Em.

8:40-9:20PM
Will & Grace (NBC, TV-PG) Grace catches Will’s pop in a compromising position, and she seems to be the only one who gives a hoot.

10-11PM
VH1 All Access: Music, Money, Power (VH1, TV-PG) It’s not just the co-opting of black culture that ‘N Sync and Eminem have in common. They also make a lot of damn money.

Series Debut 8-8:30PM
Journey Women Off The Map (WE: Women’s Entertainment, TV-G) The network formerly known as Romance Classics kicks off its new ”travel reality” series with a whale watching and hiking heavy sojourn through lovely Greenland. The scenery is lush, to be sure, yet as a tour guide, vacationer Lisa Kaplan’s (left) soft spoken narration never allows the viewer to make the transition from seeing there to being there. But then again, with all those pesky bugs, maybe that’s a good thing. C+

Friday February 23

5-5:30PM
Hollywood At Large (Court TV) Court TV’s newest series examines how crime and justice are portrayed in popular media.

8-9PM
Black Scorpion (Sci Fi, TV-PG) We have a puzzle for the Riddler (Frank Gorshin): What the hell are you doing guest starring on this crappy program?

8-8:30PM
Sabrina, The Teenage Witch (The WB, TV-G) Everything is turned upside down when Frankie Avalon (sans Annette) sabotages Sabrina’s first college spring break. (What is he, the freakin’ mole?)

9-10PM
Mick Jagger: The Ultimate Performer (Discovery Channel, TV-PG) Well, a certain Carrot Top might have something to say about that.

7-8PM
A Healthy Start: Begin Before Baby’s Born (Lifetime) In this sometimes shocking, poignant docu (narrated by Glenn Close) about lower income women who are expecting, we meet an Alabama woman who, just prior to her due date, thumbs through the yellow pages looking for a doctor who accepts Medicaid. Also, a 15 year old Maryland girl gets some prenatal tests and prepares for the fact that her son will have a cleft palate. Considering that babies whose mothers don’t receive prenatal care are four times more likely to die within the first year of life than those who do, one is left with the hope that these stories will both encourage women to take care of themselves and inspire lawmakers to assist them in doing so. B Eileen Clarke

Saturday February 24

8-10PM
Boycott (HBO, TV-PG) Jeffrey Wright and Terrence Howard star as Martin Luther King Jr. and Ralph Abernathy, respectively, in this dramatization of the 1955 Rosa Parks inspired Montgomery, Ala., bus boycott.

8-11PM
Phenomenon (ABC, TV-PG) John Travolta stars as a middle aged nobody who achieves greatness when struck by a bolt of white light … presumably named Tarantino.

9-10PM
America’s Most Wanted: America Fights Back (Fox, TV-PG-V) A little ditty about a rock & roll keyboardist (Eric Rosser of John Cougar Mellencamp’s band) accused of producing child pornography in the heartland.

Series Debut 9-10PM
Kate Brasher (CBS, TV-PG-L) Mary Stuart Masterson is charming as all get out as a poor single mom who takes a job at a community advocacy center overseen by Rhea Perlman (left with Masterson) and Hector Elizondo. In the debut, it takes her a while to get used to her coworkers’ abrasive styles — between them, Perlman and Elizondo make sandpaper seem like velvet — but soon, Masterson’s winsome Kate gets, well, brasher. The show’s got that Erin Brockovich vibe to it (workingwoman defends The Little People against The Establishment) commingling with a Touched by an Angel aura (Kate periodically opens the Bible to a random passage, believing it will impart instant wisdom). The result is hokum that’s beneath Masterson’s talents. B-Ken Tucker

Sunday February 25

5-7PM
The Dead Pool (A&E, TV-PG-V) Most likely the only time Jim Carrey has been cast as a junkie metalhead.

5:15-8:00PM
For Your Eyes Only (TBS, TV-14) Perhaps the best Bond film of the Roger Moore era, cheesy disco soundtrack notwithstanding.

6-8PM
Bringing Up Baby (Turner Classic Movies) No Guttenberg. No Selleck. No Danson. Just Cary Grant, Katherine Hepburn, and a really big leopard in this sublime 1938 screwball classic.

6:30-8:30PM
The Rocky Horror Picture Show (VH1, TV-14-SV) Shouldn’t this, like, be on at midnight or something?

7-7:30PM
Futurama (Fox, TV-PG-L) Dr. Zoidberg makes a movie starring his silent hologram uncle, voiced by Hank Azaria. (Not for nothing, but being silent sounds like a pretty easy guest vocal gig to us.)

7-9PM
Lady And The Tramp (ABC, TV-G) That scene with the dogs eating spaghetti? Gets us every time.

7-10PM
Memphis Maniax At Los Angeles Xtreme (UPN) By now, isn’t the letter X primed and ready for a ”Five Minutes Ago” appearance in The Shaw Report?

7:30-8PM
King Of The Hill (Fox, TV-14-L) Bigg Snoop Dogg goes pimpin’ — literally — with prize ho RenĂ©e Zellweger in King‘s 100th episode extravaganza.

8-8:30PM
The Simpsons (Fox, TV-PG-LV) Guest stars ‘N Sync meet their latest competition — boy band members Bart, Milhouse, Ralph, and Nelson.

8:30-9PM
Malcolm In The Middle (Fox, TV-PG-L) For Malcolm, the only thing worse than appendicitis is getting stuck in the hospital’s kiddie ward.

9-10PM
A Taste Of Harlem (Food Network) Host Isaac Hayes gets paid to eat soul food.

9-10PM
Dr. Laura: The E! True Hollywood Story (E!, TV-PG-DSV) Oh, don’t even get us started.

9-11PM
The Mask Of Zorro (CBS, TV-PG-13) Anthony Hopkins teaches Antonio Banderas how to draw the letter Z.

9-11PM*
Anna Karenina (PBS, TV-PG-DS) Masterpiece Theatre concludes its modernized two part Tolstoy adaptation. *Check Local Listings

9-10PM
The X-Files (Fox, TV-PG-L) New info and a new agent lead Doggett and Scully closer than ever to finding Fox (the character, not the network).

9-11PM
Let It Ride (ESPN Classic) Richard Dreyfuss spends a day — a very good day — at the track in this 1989 comedy.

9-10PM
Dwarf: Standing Tall (Discovery Channel, TV-G) Nothing against little people, but isn’t that title an oxymoron?

10-10:30PM
The Man Show (Comedy Central, TV-14) Jimmy and Adam pay tribute to the genius that is Porky’s.

10-11PM
The Reagan Years: The Great Communicator (CNN) Well, he certainly had a lot of practice, acting with chimpanzees and all.

Season Finale 10-11PM
Oz (HBO, TV-MA) Luke Perry the way 90210 fans have always wanted to see him: naked. Plus, Adebisi lives!

10PM-Midnight
Something Wild (Encore, TV-R) Jeff Daniels, Ray Liotta, even Melanie Griffith (!) shine in Jonathan Demme’s dark comedy about a normal Joe on the ride of his life.

10PM-Midnight
American Beauty (Cinemax, TV-R) Kevin Spacey flips burgers — and likes it!

9-11PM
Judy Garland: Me And My Shadows (ABC, TV-PG-L) Judy Davis (left) is extraordinary as Garland; she’s got the singer actress’ essential creative paradox — iron willed vulnerability — down cold, and I’ve never seen an actress pull off the quality of lip synching Davis does in the full length musical numbers. The four hour TV movie does a remarkable job of re-creating moments from Garland touchstones like The Wizard of Oz (Tammy Blanchard as teenage Judy is terrific) and Meet Me in St. Louis. Too bad the source material is Garland’s daughter Lorna Luft’s memoir, because Shadows becomes more about Luft’s tough times at precisely the moment when we want to see more of Judy Davis popping pills and entering grand Garland divadom. As it is, this will stand as one of the great performances of the year. (Concludes Feb. 26) A- Ken Tucker

8-10PM
Fire On Ice: Champions Of American Figure Skating (A&E, TV-G) Professional cutie pie/ Olympic medalist Peggy Fleming says that figure skating requires a blend of ”artistry and athleticism.” So does filmmaking. Fire and Ice starts strong as a documentary — the 1961 plane crash that killed America’s skating team is of particular note — but quickly skates onto thin ice with its mix of pulpy narrative (”The plots of Sonja Henie’s films were as skimpy as her skirts”) and sour grapes (”That Katarina Witt flirted with the audience!”). Surely, even Michelle Kwan herself would find this two hour yawn fest only about as stirring as a night at the Ice Capades. C-Caroline Kepnes

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