Jim Mullen?s Hot Sheet: 2000
1. Elian Gonzalez
Poor Communist Cuba. They had to listen to one-sided, distorted news reports day and night for months. Oh yeah, so did we.
2. Erin Brockovich
Julia Roberts could get her first Oscar for playing the plucky woman who helps win a big court case. Yeah, look what it did for Marisa Tomei.
3. Britney Spears
A tip for preteens: Looking like you’re applying for a job at Hooters never hurt anyone’s career.
His ”Thong Song” was the novelty hit of the year. He’s now working on the follow-up, ”Wonderbra Aria.”
5. Scary Movie
This spoof of horror movies made a ton of money. There’s just something about chasing a half-dressed coed with a big knife that puts a smile on everyone’s face.
6. Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire
Some critics said young kids would never read a 700-page book. They must have been thinking of college kids.
7. John Rocker
They say that sports builds character. You mean he’d be even worse if he weren’t an athlete?
8. The Sydney Olympics
Thank God NBC doesn’t cover football. They’d show us the last five minutes of the game and spend two hours talking about the players’ families.
9. Richard Hatch
The Survivor became a future trivia answer by winning $1 million. It’s a good bet he won’t be wasting it on designer clothes.
10. Kathie Lee
After 11 years, she left the rigors of daily TV. She couldn’t take the grind of being paid to have hair and makeup people fuss over her all the time.
Smackdown at the Colosseum. The difference between this and the WWF? No whining losers.
The real Slim Shady has more problems than a month of Jerry Springer shows. Of course, if he were well-adjusted, he’d have nothing to sing about.
13. Will & Grace
It points out the major difference between gay men and straight men in New York City. The gay men have girlfriends.
14. Jennifer Lopez
The first time that wearing a dress has made a person a superstar. Since Boy George.
15. Presidential Election
There must be a better way to count votes than the system we have now. Guessing.