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The Sag Awards

Last week, the Screen Actors Guild settled their strike

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Bet you couldn’t wait for more of those hysterical Whassup! ads. Well, now they can be filmed! On Oct. 23, the Screen Actors Guild and the American Federation of Television and Radio Artists reached a tentative settlement in their strike against advertisers. The agreement — which, among other things, gives actors a chance to make money off future Internet ads — ended a six-month ordeal that had enough drama, damnations, and donations to warrant its own SAG Awards. Here, we picket — er, pick — our winners.

The Rockefeller philanthropy award to Nicolas Cage, whose $200,000 contribution to the guild was the highest. Also opening their pockets were Bruce Willis ($100,000), Harrison Ford ($100,000), and erstwhile 90210 star Brian Austin Green, who dipped into his rap-career savings to come up with $10,000.

The hellish treatment award to Elizabeth Hurley, who outraged union members by filming a perfume commercial in July. Though she apologized (claiming ignorance) and pledged $25,000 to SAG, the actress was granted no mercy: Protesters bore placards reading ”ugly scab” at the L.A. premiere of her film Bedazzled.

The ”Blame Canada” award to Well, Canada. The already competitive country saw an increase in production thanks to the prolonged strike — not good news for Los Angeles, which lost an estimated $229 million. Sucks for the States, eh?

The Norma Rae Award to Susan Sarandon, who presented the actors’ case to Capitol Hill Oct. 12. The Thelma & Louise star also held a one-hour closed-door meeting with Utah Senator Orrin Hatch. Word has it he’s a huge Rocky Horror fan. We made that up.

The David Hasselhoff award for odd career trajectory to SAG president William Daniels, whose hard-driving efforts on behalf of the union were almost enough to make us forget that he voiced the talking car KITT on Knight Rider.