1. BIG BROTHER 2
In the new one, CBS will lock all its executives in a house for three months. Still nobody will watch, but its other shows will get better.
2. MEN ARE FROM MARS …
Cybill Shepherd’s show. If she knows so much about relationships, why can’t she keep one?
3. THE OLYMPIC SPIRIT
Where do they find all these synchronized swimmers who haven’t turned professional yet?
4. WIRED WEAR
Levi Strauss is selling a jacket that lets you connect your cell phone to speakers in the hood. It also e-mails you when it’s no longer in style.
5. BABY BOOM
How some celebrated Y2K Eve is obvious in maternity wards across the country. They watched the pajamas drop at midnight.
6. MONICA LEWINSKY, CUB REPORTER
She’s been hired by a British TV station to explain America to them. What? Was O.J. too busy?
7. THE FUGITIVE
A new series based on the old show about an innocent man running from the law. It’s the Wen Ho Lee story.
A prime-time soap about the nude and powerful. Why is it the more expensive the clothes, the faster people get out of them?
9. THE WEST WING
The improbable, Melrose Place-like season-ender gets resolved. The best solution: President Bartlet had a bad dream.
Some New York City taxis now feature Internet connections. The hitch? You can only get online with someone who doesn’t speak English.
11. BARBARA WALTERS
The newswoman will reportedly get $60 million in her new contract with ABC. And she gets to use Peter Jennings’ hair colorist!
12. SING-A-LONG SOUND OF MUSIC
Many go in drag. Where does a 6’6”, 300-pound man go for a habit? Big & Tall Nuns?
13. PAULA ABDUL
She’s released a Greatest Hits compilation. It gives a new meaning to the words ”compact disc.”
14. ROSIE O’DONNELL
Like Oprah, she may be starting a magazine with a kid-friendly slant. The title? Uh-O.
15. JASON PRIESTLEY
His rep blamed a disjointed interview on jet lag. Squashing the rumor he was running for President.