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Sound Bites: The week's best TV quotes

TV’s funniest lines from the week of September 22nd

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”He must’ve been distracted, thinking about executing some criminables.”
Jon Stewart, mocking George W. Bush’s mispronunciation of subliminal as subliminable, on The Daily Show

”Britney Spears admitted she is going out with Justin Timberlake from ‘N Sync, and Britney said that when she and Justin are together in a room, they’re so comfortable that they don’t need to talk. Apparently, they both just sit there and stare at her boobs.”
Conan O’Brien on Late Night

”Three-month-old Siamese twins from Liberia were separated at a hospital in Ohio. Doctors say they’re in stable condition, and I’m happy to report they’re currently dating Hugh Hefner.”
Bill Maher on Politically Incorrect

”Whenever you have a big deal like the Vice President on the show, my God, is security tight! Security tonight is tighter than Joan Rivers’ face.”
David Letterman, on the night of Al Gore’s visit to Late Show