The Survivors invade ”Hollywood Squares” and ”Regis”
Okay, Susan Hawk on ”Live With Regis” last Thursday was great — funny, saucy, didn’t give a hoot. When Philbin asked her if she was nervous cohosting, she said, ”Naw — why would I be nervous? This ain’t my job. I’m just hangin’ out.” When Reeg suggested that ”Survivor” winner Richard Hatch had had ”a little tummy tuck,” she hooted, ”A LITTLE! They cut away, like, a THIRD of him!”
But the stunt of having a different ”Survivor” cohost with Philbin each day last week (along with this week’s ”Survivor” invasion of ”Hollywood Squares”) is proof that — as good a time as we all had on that island — it’s high time all these people exited pop culture.
I’m so sick of ”Survivor” jokes, I can’t even muster the spirit to say they should all be banished. I don’t ever want to hear Rudy spout another ”cute” homophobic remark on ”Entertainment Tonight” or ”Access Hollywood” — anything, even an Angelina Jolie/ Billy Bob Thornton story is more endurable than that. And do even ”Hollywood Squares” fans want Jenna, Gervase, Susan, and Rich mouthing scripted quips with host Tom Bergeron and center square Whoopi Goldberg? Care to guess how many punchlines ”Square” personality and joke writer Bruce Vilanch has constructed around the phrases ”tribal councils” and ”immunity challenges”?
One happy thought: By the end of this week, those poor devils left inside the ”Big Brother” house will be liberated, and that most tedious of the reality shows will finally come to an end. And a further happy thought: The show has proven to be such a dud, it’s doubtful any of the ”Brother” survivors will be invited onto ”Regis” or ”Hollywood Squares.” The sooner we clear away all these real people cluttering up our TV screens, we can get on to loving or hating all the fictional people of the new fall TV season.