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Sound Bites: The week's best TV quotes

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”Lazy’s such a strong word. I like to call it relaxed.”
Survivor contestant Gervase Peterson, explaining his island attitude on The Rosie O’Donnell Show

”Winona LaDuke — wasn’t she one of the Dixie Chicks?”
David Letterman, on Ralph Nader’s running mate, on Late Show

”The LAPD is declaring their handling of the convention protests a success. They say they only had to turn on the fire hoses one time and that was to separate Al and Tipper Gore.”
Bill Maher on Politically Incorrect

”Miss Sally in Oz? Next we’ll have Seinfeld in here.”
Augustus Hill (Harold Perrineau), anticipating a kiddie-show hostess’ visit to the prison, on Oz (which Jerry Seinfeld parodied on Saturday Night Live)

”Big news in New York — the founder of the Puerto Rican Day Parade died last week. The viewing was on Monday from 3 to 6, and the groping was from 7 to 12.”
Chris Rock on The Chris Rock Show

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