A full confession: As much as we love TV’s long-running legal eagles, you can only live on Judge Wapner’s Animal Court for so long. Thankfully, studios are trying harder than ever to court viewers this fall, with a slew of new syndicated law shows hoping to pass the ratings bar. Herewith, we present three of the season’s newest defendants.
YOUR HONOR: CURTIS COURT (Premiering Sept. 11) starring Judge James Curtis
CASE IN POINT: Former lovers feud over a set of tires, and the teary-eyed woman is told by her ex that their relationship was for ”screwing only.”
BENCH BITES: Curtis is master of shocked looks and stern dressings-down: ”I find your credibility severely lacking.”
BREAKOUT BAILIFF: Buff and hunky flunky Anthony Pasquin
THE VERDICT: Springer with a robe — and with cheaper sets.
YOUR HONOR: JUDGE HATCHETT (Premiering Sept. 11) starring Judge Glenda Hatchett
CASE IN POINT: A schemer refuses to pay for collect calls made to his ex, tastefully noting: ”All I wanted, your honor, was a piece of butt.”
BENCH BITES: ”I think that you are a no-good, jive-ass, trifling man,” barks Hatchett.
BREAKOUT BAILIFF: Gruff ”Stone Cold” Steve Austin look-alike Tom O’Riordan
THE VERDICT: Hatchett’s Judge Judy-like tone could make this a not- so-guilty pleasure.
YOUR HONOR: MORAL COURT (Premiering Oct. 2) starring Judge Larry Elder
CASE IN POINT: Two roommates argue whether they should report their building’s free cable hookup.
BENCH BITES: Compares honest roomie’s principles to Muhammad Ali’s refusal to serve in Vietnam: ”We should be applauding [her].”
BREAKOUT BAILIFF: Little-seen chamber stud Russell Brown
THE VERDICT: While Elder is Geraldo-smooth, the aggressively vocal audience could prove too trying for viewers.