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Sound Bites: The week's best TV quotes

TV’s funniest lines from the week of September 25th

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”I’m smoking and I’m sleeping with Big again. Feel free to delete me from your PalmPilot.”
A shamed Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) to Miranda (Cynthia Nixon) on Sex and the City

”He’s done more for No-Doz than I ever did for Viagra.”
Bob Dole, discussing Al Gore on The Daily Show

”Everybody is in the spirit of Survivor. Earlier today, President Clinton was voted off an intern.”
David Letterman on Late Show

”Tonight was Al Gore’s acceptance speech. Gore tried to come off like a regular guy. In fact, he said he’s really no different from most Americans who work hard, pay their taxes, and hate their boss.”
Bill Maher on Politically Incorrect

”It was reported today that Kathie Lee Gifford will be performing a concert this fall outside the Today show studios. It’s all part of her nationwide ‘The Thing That Won’t Go Away’ tour.”
Conan O’Brien on Late Night