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''Big Brother'' webcast reveals far more than the TV show

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If you watch ”Big Brother” six nights a week, it may seem like you’re getting more than enough information. But it turns out you’re not getting enough. On the ”Big Brother” website, the news section provides daily updates that often reveal more than the TV broadcast does — whether it’s goings on that the show doesn’t have time to include, or things you get the feeling the producers are trying to keep quiet. Here are a few outtakes from the site which indicate that somebody should be watching ”Big Brother” while it watches the housemates.

An Affair to Remember We’ve all heard that Karen’s cold, cold husband doesn’t like to be touched. But we never got to hear how much Karen LIKES to touch. In a late night conversation back on day 28, Karen revealed that her troubled marriage led her to panic attacks, despair, and an affair with her stepfather’s nephew. When she broke down and confessed it to her husband, he up and moved the family from Detroit to Alabama. Filled with ”dig me I’m Mama Confessor” comments like ”I was such a wreck. I wouldn’t let my husband touch me ’cause I felt for a long time that God would punish me,” it makes you wonder what was so important on the show that there wasn’t room for this bombshell. Were Brittany and Josh holding hands in an especially compelling way?

Prohibition, ”Big Brother” Style Remember those alcohol soaked good times when Eddie poured beer over his head or Josh did a goofy beer inspired jig through the living room? Have you wondered why the housemates seem to have sobered up? Shortly after the house roast of Curtis and Jordan, Cassandra complained in the Red Room that ”BB” encourages drinking by not only providing alcohol with the groceries, but by challenging Eddie and George to brew their own beer. ”BB” defended him/ her/ itself by saying that the beer making equipment was presented because the alcohol was going to be cut off soon, and the housemates could only drink what they make. Whether that was a grand plan or simply a spontaneous rationalization, Cassandra seems to have cowed ”BB.” After the recent pie eating contest, when Jamie asked if they could buy booze with their winnings, Cassandra was told that ”alcohol is still off limits.” George has finished brewing his moonshine, however. So maybe that’ll fuel the hot housemate on housemate action the show’s been lacking.

Amateur Night at the Improv You can’t blame the housemates for their unfunny skits. What’s scarier: the prospect that ”Big Brother” will keep forcing unfunny people to do improvisational comedy, or the fact that professional TV producers are actually writing those tragically laugh free lines for them? For example, many of those insipid putdowns during the roast were given to the housemates to read; when George told Curtis he’d be a good lawyer because he’d been ”persecuting them with his snoring,” you couldn’t necessarily blame the poor dim roofer for not knowing that a lawyer is a prosecutor, not a persecutor. And when it came to ”The Karen Springer Show,” each housemate was given his or her character sketch in advance. This is especially relevant because we saw Cassandra complaining that her loud, sassy character went against the image of a composed, mature African American woman that she wanted to project in the house. Though it looked like she was chastising herself for choosing the role, in fact she was angry at ”BB” for assigning it.

Big Brother’s Bedtime As the theme song says, ”Live, live for today”… but NOT live for tonight. Apparently ”Big Brother” didn’t like the late hours carousing, and declared a 1 a.m. curfew for the house. This was reportedly done because there’s only a skeleton crew behind the scenes overnight, and it was tough to cover the housemates when they were awake at all hours. Of course, this questionable policy also means that when some rare drama pops up in the middle of the night, it gets quashed as ”Big Brother” yells at everyone to go to bed. (That’s what happened when a recently nominated Karen began cracking up at 3 a.m., telling Eddie and Brittany how she wanted to leave and how much she hated George.) Perhaps the producers should just try locking everyone in isolation all day, except from 8-8:30 p.m., so they can capture all the activity live and punch out early.

Puppy Love Watch Chiquita, the new dog, frolic by the chickens! Watch the housemates scratch his puggish face! Watch Curtis’ tongue swell as he claws at his throat, desperate for air! The TV show apparently doesn’t want to kill the good vibes caused by the arrival of the new pet by letting you know that Curtis is allergic to dogs. But the website tells us that after only an hour of being around Chiquita, Curtis’ arms started to turn red and itch, and rules were quickly made that the dog had to stay off the couch and out of the men’s bedroom. You can’t blame ”Big Brother” for not doing its homework: All housemates were asked about allergies and Curtis neglected to write this one. In fact, ”BB” houses in other countries have all gotten cats, but it was changed here since Cassandra is allergic to felines. Now if only someone had said they were allergic to Julie Chen…

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