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The Public Eye

Sound Bites: The week's best TV quotes

TV’s funniest lines from August 4-11

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”Don’t you know anybody who’s fully dressed?”
Sam Donaldson, after Carson Daly cited Jennifer Lopez and Britney Spears as friends of his, on 20/20

”Today, a group of Cuban Americans denounced the Castro government as a fascist regime that monitors and scrutinizes its citizens’ everyday existence. And then they excused themselves to go watch Big Brother.”
Bill Maher on Politically Incorrect

”Today was Kathie Lee Gifford’s last day on Live! To mark the occasion, Mayor Giuliani declared it Kathie Lee Gifford Day — which means nobody had to go to work except children under 10.”
Conan O’Brien on Late Night

”Here’s what Dick Cheney brings to the ticket — experience, steadiness, and foreign-policy skills … And I’m thinking, What the hell is Bush bringing? Beer?”
David Letterman on Late Show