Sometimes celebrities deliver their best lines without a script. Here’s EW Online’s latest roundup of saucy quips and keen quotations from some of Hollywood’s finest.
? ”There are some things worth fighting for. Imagine if you woke up one morning here in Los Angeles and found Lithuanians with sharp teeth crawling up the beach with golf clubs to beat your brains out. What would you do? That’s a reason to defend yourself.” ”Patriot” star MEL GIBSON on what war really is good for
? ”You gaff a 500 pound swordfish through the eye to get it up on deck, then you cut off its head with a chain saw. But I didn’t do any of that. I’m the captain. I just sit around and say ‘That’s a nice looking fish.”’ GEORGE CLOONEY on the advantages of being the captain in ”The Perfect Storm”
? ”Frogs are a walk in the park compared to these waves. Frogs are a little less harmless than 2,000 gallons of water hitting you in your face.” ”The Perfect Storm” (and ”Magnolia”) costar JOHN C. REILLY, comparing the two kinds of weather disasters he’s had to face on screen
? ”My children are so unimpressed with me that it’s pathetic. I can’t get them to watch anything I’m in. They watched ‘Cinderella’ once, ‘Bye Bye Birdie’ once, never saw ‘Duckman,’ never saw ‘Seinfeld.’ ‘The Hunchback of Notre Dame’ is the one animated movie they will not watch. My children hate me. I’m going to therapy about it now.” ”The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle” star JASON ALEXANDER on his unappreciative brood
? ”My sister had a pet chicken named Penny, a Rhode Island Red. She was like the family dog, coming on the porch and stealing things all the time. We’d throw sticks for her, but she’d never bring them back. Come to think of it, she was a pretty rotten family dog.” ”Chicken Run” codirector NICK PARK on the pros and cons of a fine feathered friend
? ”Walter Wade is more of your straightforward, ‘likes to punch people in the face’ guy. Patrick Bateman is more your chain saw-dissection kind of guy. Personally, I think Patrick would eat Walter alive. It’s a whole different level of psychosis that Walter can’t even begin to understand.” CHRISTIAN BALE, comparing his ”American Psycho” character to his villain in ”Shaft”
? ”I was a little too fabulous — something about rock and roll does that to you. Those were the party years. It was not in a room doing drugs by yourself with roaches running around.” Actress KHANDI ALEXANDER, explaining how her 1990 stint in rehab (after choreographing Whitney Houston’s world tour) differed from her character’s recovery on HBO’s series ”The Corner”