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Yoda answers your questions

A new ”Star Wars” toy is this generation’s ”Ask the Magic 8-Ball”

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If you’re searching for wisdom, you might want to study philosophy or consult your Bible. Then again, you could just ask Yoda. This month, Tiger Electronics, Ltd., began flooding America’s toy stores with the latest must-have Star Wars gadget: the Interactive Yoda doll. The pointy-eared, squeaky-voiced plaything dispenses tips on how to use a lightsaber and patiently answers all questions. (To get a response, inquisitors wave their hand over the light sensor on Yoda’s hoary chest.) EW got ahold of the little master to see what he could teach us.

Will the next Star Wars be any better than The Phantom Menace?
The answer you seek is yes.

We’ve always wondered: Is C-3PO gay?
Difficult question you ask. Yes, I answer.

Will Jar Jar Binks die a horrible, bloody death in Episode II?
No, I sense this is.

Who the hell taught you syntax?
Use the Force. Teach you it will.

Sounds like someone’s avoiding the question. Try this one: Is Mulder the father of Scully’s baby?
Search your feelings. Answer this question it will.

You’re 900 years old. Do you use Viagra?
Yes, I sense this is.

There’s an Internet rumor that Christopher Walken will be in Episode II. True?
Simple question you ask. No, I answer.

Would you like to be the new Kathie Lee?
Difficult question you ask. No, I answer.

It wasn’t that difficult, actually. How about this: Who da Man?
Many questions you ask.

I can’t get this jar of peanut butter open. What do you recommend?
Use the Force. Answers you seek can be found in the Force.

Who’ll be the last Survivor?
This even Yoda does not know.