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Sound Bites: The week's best TV quotes

TV’s funniest lines from to May 26 to June 1

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”If you’re not careful, you may not get married at all this year.”
Chandler (Matthew Perry), to the thrice-divorced Ross (David Schwimmer), on Friends

”You sleep with a religious virgin, it’s like he’s breaking up with God to date you. And let me tell you, from personal experience, you do not want to be the Yoko in a man’s relationship with the Lord.”
Megha (Amanda Foreman) to Elena (Tangi Miller), on Felicity

”NBC announced it will cancel Veronica’s Closet. The network says the sitcom never did find its core audience — that being people who liked the show.”
Dennis Miller on The Dennis Miller Show

”Hillary says she plans to devote herself to improving the lives of New Yorkers, and I’m thinking ‘What, she’s moving back to Arkansas?”’
David Letterman on Late Show