1Bill GatesBR] For the first time, he’s starring in commercials for Microsoft. Couldn’t he afford to get Dave Thomas?
2 Cody Gifford
Kathie Lee’s son is suing a tabloid for saying he was a spoiled brat. Stop kicking your lawyers, dear.
3 Leo DiCaprio
There was a flap at ABC about whether spoiled, egotistical prima donnas should get to ask questions of the President — or if actors can ask them too.
4 Keeping the Faith
A priest (Edward Norton) and a rabbi (Ben Stiller) fall for the same girl. Original title: There’s Something About the Virgin Mary.
5 28 Days
Sandra Bullock must spend a month in rehab. And if she ever makes Speed 3, they’ll make it six months.
6 Where the Money Is
The police are after bank robber Paul Newman. Here’s an idea — put his ”Wanted” picture on a bunch of salad dressing bottles.
It’s time once again for the rented tuxedos and the experiments in big hair. Or is that the Country Music Awards?
8 Earth Day
I sent her a nice bouquet of plastic flowers.
9 American Psycho
A satire about a wealthy, well-dressed Wall Street trader who chainsaws unsuspecting women to death. Oh, you big silly.
10 Montel Williams
His wife threw his clothes out on the lawn after she saw pictures of him with another woman. She is now qualified to be a guest on one of his shows.
11 The Seinfelds
They’re asking themselves what all parents-to-be ask: Will a $30 million house be big enough?
12 The Who
The ’60s hitmakers will release their latest album exclusively on the Internet. Prompting many people to ask, ”But what if my nursing home isn’t online?”
13 That cockroach
A bug crossing the TV screen in an Orkin ad looks so real that people try to squash it. That happens to Sam Donaldson a lot, too.
14 Matchbox Twenty
The band is no longer to be called matchbox 20. Their second choice was ”IQ Forty.”
15 Harry Potter
A casting call has gone out for preteen boys to play the wizard-in-training. That means only three Culkins can make the audition.