Steven Spielberg will direct Stanley Kubrick’s last project, about robots. Who want to sleep with Nicole Kidman.
2 Erin Brockovich
Julia Roberts plays a scantily dressed investigator who digs up dirt on a corporate polluter. ”Gee, how did that major clue get in my cleavage?”
3 Kathie Lee
She says the cure to her marital woes is plenty of sex with Frank. What’s the cure for knowing that?
4 Stephen King
His latest ghost story is available only on the Internet for $2.50. Is it scary? If you’re a bookseller.
5 Tom Cruise
He reportedly says it’s silly to pay 25 percent to business managers when actors can do it themselves. Isn’t that what Gary Coleman said?
6 Annette Bening
The way-pregnant actress will be a presenter at the Oscars. Maybe Jennifer Lopez can lend her a comfortable outfit.
7 Cybill Shepherd
Her new book reveals why she had sex with two stuntmen. Because it might have killed amateurs.
8 John Stossel
He’ll take Oprah’s ABC spot when she leaves next year. It’ll be called Getting My Butt Kicked by Rosie.
The 16 game-show contestants have been left on a deserted island. It’s a new idea in travel: Club Dead.
10 ”Blame Canada”
The dirty words in the South Park song may be bleeped out at the Academy Awards. Get ready for an instrumental.
11 Tax Tips
Every TV show has a different nugget of advice for you. Take it. How bad can those country-club prisons be?
12 Tom Green and Drew Barrymore
They’re an item. Prediction: You have bread that will last longer.
The people behind Dolly the sheep have cloned a pig. Which means they can now do Howard Stern.
14 The Piano
The instrument is celebrating its 300th birthday. It’s also the 300th anniversary of the phrase ”But I don’t want to practice.”
15 Chrissie Hynde
The chief Pretender was arrested for protesting the sale of leather jackets at the Gap. Excuse me, but some of us can’t afford to buy designer leather.