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Tom Green undergoes surgery for cancer

Plus, Michael Douglas, Jonathan Demme, ”That ’70s Show,” the stolen Oscars, ”Star Trek: Voyager,” and more

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Tom Green

HOSPITALIZED Although it sounds like just the kind of tasteless practical joke Tom Green would pull, it’s actually true: The MTV host is undergoing surgery for testicular cancer today, according to the Ottawa Sun. He discovered a lump more than a week ago, and has already had one round of surgery in addition to today’s four-hour lymph node operation. His aunt — who was reached for comment at Green’s parents’ house — said they were told the surgery had a 96 percent success rate, and that he was being supported by his girlfriend of two months, Drew Barrymore. (Now THERE’S the real shocking news.) Green has been taping all of his recent medical travails for a one-hour special he’s preparing for MTV, in which he’ll no doubt treat this subject with the gravity that he usually devotes to cow molesting.

CASTING Michael Douglas may play a law professor who inadvertently teaches his students how to get away with murder through one of his hypothetical cases, in ”Criminal Law.” Because you know what Johnnie Cochran might say: ”If you learn from the guy from ‘Wall Street,’ your case can’t be beat”…. Tom Skerritt will play the Gary Cooper role in a TBS remake of ”High Noon”…. Rosario Dawson (”He Got Game”) has been tapped as a replacement for Halle Berry, who backed out of Eddie Murphy’s sci-fi comedy ”Pluto Nash.”

LOOSE ENDS It turns out the theft of the 55 Oscars was an inside job. Two employees of Roadway Express, the company that was shipping the statues from Chicago to L.A., were arrested Monday for taking the statues in the hopes of selling them. However, even if Anthony Hart and Lawrence Ledent had gotten away with it, they wouldn’t have made much of a profit: The Oscars ”weren’t very marketable,” said Academy president Robert Rehme. ”So these guys weren’t that smart. They just made a big mistake.” The two men (who had both worked for Roadway for 10 years) are being held on $100,000 bail. The police say the case is still open and they’re looking for other suspects.

REEL DEALS Jonathan Demme may direct ”Eye in the Door,” based on Pat Barker’s 1995 novel about a British WWI spy under investigation…. New Line is planning a remake of the influential sci-fi classic, 1956’s ”Forbidden Planet.” Isn’t a ”remake of an influential film” the final sign that studios have thrown in the creativity towel?

ON THE WEB ”That ’70s Show” is heading into the computer age, and we don’t mean it’s getting a new Atari. The producers are creating six 10-minute shorts called ”Behind the Scenes at ‘That ’70s Show”’ which will be webcast before each new episode for the rest of this season. The webisodes of backstage antics begin this Monday, March 27, and will be shown at 7:30 p.m. on the show’s website. You’ll feel like you’re part of the cast — and when your ISP abruptly cuts you off, you can feel like you’ve been written out of the show! What a Hollywood experience!

PHASING OUT Next season will be the final frontier for ”Star Trek: Voyager”: Its seventh season will be its last, according to UPN. While the network and the producers say the show has gone as far as it can, apparently space itself still has some growth potential. UPN network chief Dean Valentine says the network is talking to the producers about creating a new ”Star Trek” spin-off.

LAWSUIT ”Law & Order”’s Jerry Orbach is suing eBay because it put his Social Security number up on the Internet. A dealer called the History Store had put up for auction two contracts of Orbach’s from 1958 with his number on them, and Orbach (who is suing both eBay and the History Store) says that this exposed him to identity theft, credit card fraud, and could affect his credit worthiness, according to Reuters. Identity theft? This could be just the opening Michael Moriarty needs to get back on the show!