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Sound Bites: The week's best TV quotes

TV’s funniest lines from March 9-16

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”Does it hurt your back to kiss your own ass like that?”
Will (Eric McCormack to Ben Doucette (Gregory Hines), on Will & Grace

”Recently, the Census Bureau mailed explanatory letters to every American household, but a printing error caused all 120 million to be wrongly addressed. Government officials now fear the letters will wind up…thrown out in the wrong 120 million garbage cans.”
Jon Stewart on The Daily Show

”Kathie Lee Gifford has quit. She said on her show that she’s going to leave…in July. Frank was completely shocked. He was so stunned that he fell off his flight attendant.”
Jay Leno on The Tonight Show

”George W. Bush has a new campaign slogan: It’s ‘A Reformer with Results’…. I think it’s better than his old campaign slogan: ‘A Dumb Guy with Connections.”’
David Letterman on Late Show