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Guilty Pleasures: Aquaman

Jessica Shaw on the man who swims without breathing

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Among comic book connoisseurs, idolizing Aquaman places you just one dork notch above being a Zan and Jayna fan. True, he doesn’t have a superfly cape or neat gadgets. And his powers — swimming without breathing, communicating with animals, having stellar night vision — are a tad pedestrian. But when watching the Superman/Aquaman Hour of Adventure on the Cartoon Network, I find myself gushing over the piscatorial stud-muffin (and making popcorn during those Man of Steel bits) because this water boy clearly led the way for today’s Sensitive TV Guys. Think about it: Would Chandler be so romantic with Monica had such ardent amphibian amour not bloomed between Aquaman and Mera (his queen from another dimension)? Would Felicity, Noel, and Ben be as self-analytical if Aquaman hadn’t been emotionally evolved enough to work on his territorial issues with Aqualad? And would Dr. Greene dare to parade around in green bottoms had not this H2O hottie paved the sartorial path? I don’t think so. So keep your webshooters and invisible jets — this dude of the deep is the only superhero who can truly float my boat.

Guilt-o-meter: 5