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Sound Bites: The Week's Best TV Quotes

TV’s funniest lines from February 26 – March 2

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”I spent half an hour with Hillary — look what happened to me!”
David Letterman, on why he has newfound respect for President Clinton, on The Late Show

”I said, ‘Don’t ever do that again! [Think of] the money we could make on eBay!”’
John Stamos, recounting what he told his supermodel wife, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, when he saw her tossing out old pairs of her panties, on The Rosie O’Donnell Show

”As a Christian, I’m just not comfortable with a man’s hairy hands touching my spongy places, propelling my buttocks heavenwards.”
Mary Cherry (Leslie Grossman), about the possibility of a male cheerleader being added to her squad, on Popular

”After 18 years and more than 7,000 performances, the musical Cats is going to close on Broadway. Producers say after the show ends, it will be buried in a shoebox in the backyard.”
Craig Kilborn on The Late Late Show