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Letterman Late Shift

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Two words: Guest host. While David Letterman recuperates from Jan. 14 heart surgery, several folks have reportedly volunteered to lend Late Show a famous hand. CBS had no official word (though a network source does point to the strong ratings for postop re-runs). Regardless, EW reviews those mentioned as junior-varsity Lettermen.

JERRY SEINFELD

Upside He’s very available. Has the requisite smirk and misanthropy. Used to working with shiny-scalped sidekick.

Downside ”Didja ever notice how cold it is in here? What’s the deal with that skyline?” B+

ROSIE O’DONNELL

Upside A buddy of the First Lady’s (a huge hit on Late Show), she could broker a ratings boom.

Downside Who wants to see the Queen of Nice at witching hour? B-

REGIS PHILBIN

Upside Affable, wacky, and shameless, he’d be game to strap on Dave’s old Velcro suit.

Downside What with Millionaire, viewers may be getting their Phil of him. B

HOWARD STERN

Upside Stupid Lesbian Dwarf Stripper Tricks.

Downside Stupid Lesbian Dwarf Stripper Tricks. C

BURT REYNOLDS

Upside Even more opportunities for toupee jokes; good at avoiding speeding tickets (see Smokey and the Bandit).

Downside Aside from marrying Loni Anderson, hasn’t evinced much of a sense of humor. D

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