1 MADONNA The pop goddess will perform ”American Pie” at the Super Bowl pregame show. The song or the movie?
2 SUPERNOVA Star Trek meets Alien. In space, no one can hear you rip off other movies.
3 TED TURNER The media mogul has announced that he and his wife, Jane Fonda, are separating. If they divorce, she gets Montana and South Dakota.
4 MICHAEL DOUGLAS The 55-year-old actor is engaged to the 30-year-old Catherine Zeta-Jones. They plan to have his grandchildren right away.
5 MELISSA ETHERIDGE She’s announced that David Crosby is the father of her and her partner’s two kids. Who was their fallback — Johnny Winter?
6 ”SATISFACTION” According to a VH1 poll, it’s the best rock & roll song ever recorded. What a coup for Devo!
7 AOL TIME WARNER Some folks think the new corporation may have too much power. Today my computer said, ”You’ve got mail, can we read it?”
8 WHO WANTS TO MARRY A MULTIMILLIONAIRE? A new television special in the works. It’s also what’s on Donald Trump’s business card.
9 ELIAN GONZALEZ Some people say the 6-year-old shouldn’t go back to Cuba because his civil rights can’t be guaranteed. Maybe he shouldn’t go to Alabama, either.
10 MICHAEL JACKSON He says he may quit the music biz after his next album. And open a chain of day-care centers.
11 54-YEAR-OLD TRIPLET MOM Who will play her when they make the inevitable film? Drew Barrymore or Ashley Judd?
12 DICK CLARK The 70-year-old announcer has signed on to do five more New Year’s Rockin’ Eves. 10, 9, 8, 9, 4, 7, 9…
13 PLAY IT TO THE BONE Woody Harrelson as a ne’er-do-well fighter. In other words, White Men Can’t Box, Either.
14 THE SOPRANOS SEASON PREMIERE Y2K didn’t get this much hype. At least when the HBO episode is over you won’t be stuck with lots of extra food and water.
15 THE FLU ERs are packed. And there’s nothing like spending time in a room full of sick people to make you feel better.