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Sound Bites

The funniest TV quotes for the week of Dec. 17

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Sound Bites

”Gene Rayburn, the host of TV’s long-running Match Game, died this week at the age of 81. In lieu of flowers, the family asks that you send ‘blank.”’ Colin Quinn on SNL

”Celine [Dion] told the audience she’ll be taking a year off, which she’s been telling audiences for two years now. Celine, how can we miss you if you never leave?” Beth Littleford, critiquing the diva’s CBS special, on The Daily Show

”[Jesse] Ventura and I have a lot in common. We were both in the Navy, I was a mediocre high school and college wrestler, and I occasionally wear a feather boa around the Senate.” John McCain on Meet the Press

”The WTO protests brought the city of Seattle to a virtual standstill, and for 36 hours nobody formed a band.” Jon Stewart on The Daily Show

”That’s Jimmy Stewart you’re doing.” David Letterman, about ESPN’s Dan Patrick’s Clinton impersonation, on Late Show