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SOUND BITES

The funniest TV lines from the week of Dec. 3, 1999

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”When all was said and done, Bill Bradley collected $1.5 million from the fund-raising event at Madison Square Garden, but then, sadly, lost it to Wesley Snipes after betting him he could dunk.”—JON STEWART on The Daily Show

”Michael Jackson announced last week that he plans to publish a text-and-picture book celebrating his love of children. The working title of his book: People’s Exhibit A.”—COLIN QUINN on Saturday Night Live

”You know what that Pokemon thing is?… It’s short for ‘pocket monsters.’ It’s a huge deal, and I’m thinking, haven’t kids been playing with those for years?”—DAVID LETTERMAN on Late Show

”In New Mexico, seven boys were suspended because they tried to get several girls in their class to appear in a porn movie. On the bright side, they’ve all been given a development deal at Showtime.” —CONAN O’BRIEN on Late Night

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