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Jay Leno and Conan O’Brien funnies

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”Larry King announced that his 38-year-old wife is pregnant again, prompting King to boast that he’s ‘reinventing manhood.’ When reached for comment, King’s wife said, ‘Just get him off me, okay?”’ Colin Quinn on SNL

”President Clinton said that at the White House a Secret Service agent [once] pointed a gun at him because he thought the President was an intruder. The agent said he didn’t think it was the President because the man was spotted near the First Lady’s bedroom.” Conan O’Brien on Late Night

”I’d really like to set up a meeting between your father and a Tic Tac.” Doug (Kevin James), to Carrie (Leah Remini), after enduring a long car ride with her dad (Jerry Stiller), on The King of Queens

”I’ve got a great [Halloween] costume lined up for this year. I’m going to bring a 15-year-old girl with me and go out as Michael Douglas.” Jay Leno on The Tonight Show