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Opening lines from recently published books

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Opening lines from recently published books

”I am a failure. Don’t get me wrong, I say this without bitterness, without self-hatred, without irony. Also without pride, in case you’re wondering about that. I state it as a fact merely, without editorial comment.” From DAVID EDDIE’s new novel, Chump Change (Riverhead, $13)

”My girlfriend is dating a younger man. Let me clarify that. Actually, she’s dating an embryo. I have jeans older than this boy.” From P.S. WALL’s humor book If I Were a Man, I’d Marry Me (Ballantine, $19.95)