It’s a tough year for summer-tour fans: Lollapalooza and H.O.R.D.E. have gone the way of the $10 ticket, and the season’s hottest shows, by Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band, are harder to get into than ‘N Sync’s dressing room. All’s not lost, however, as our helpful (exceedingly so?) roundup to summer’s most notable music happenings (some already under way) suggests.
Now in its third (and final) year, the famed femme-fest boasts a predictably diverse lineup, including Sarah McLachlan (duh), the Pretenders, the Dixie Chicks, Beth Orton, and Monica. (Not all artists perform on all dates, so check local listings.)
DATES: July 8-Aug. 31
TICKETS* $20-40 for most shows
WHAT TO WEAR: Hairy pits
WHAT TO LISTEN TO IN THE PATHFINDER: Ani DiFranco
WHAT TO PACK: Tarot cards
WHAT YOU’LL END UP WITH: A henna tattoo
WHAT TO PAY A SCALPER: $75
Black Sabbath return to headline the summer’s loudest headbanger tour, along with Rob Zombie, Godsmack, Slayer, and others. Added attraction: ”Never Never Land,” a concourse that includes a metal karaoke booth. What, you think it’s easy singing ”Iron Man”?
DATES: Through July 24
WHAT TO WEAR: If it don’t say ”Sabbath,” it sux.
WHAT TO LISTEN TO IN THE CAMARO: Metallica’s Master of Puppets
WHAT TO PACK: Bail money, ’cause…
WHAT YOU’LL END UP WITH: A DWI arrest
WHAT TO PAY A SCALPER: $50
The Vans Warped Tour ’99
Blink 182 and Pennywise will keep the punk-rock pups happy, but Warped minds will also appreciate the hip-hop offerings: Eminem, Black Eyed Peas, and Ice-T. (Not all acts appear on all dates, so check local listings.)
DATES: Through July 31
WHAT TO WEAR: Whatever doesn’t cover your tattoos
WHAT TO LISTEN TO ON YOUR SKATEBOARD: The Offspring’s ”Why Don’t You Get a Job” downloaded onto a Diamond Rio
WHAT TO PACK: Antiseptic for your new lip ring
WHAT YOU’LL END UP WITH: A headache
WHAT TO PAY A SCALPER: $10 and half a can of warm Bud
All That Music & More Festival
Mom. Mom! MOM! Can I go to All That? Can I? Can I? It’s got Monica, B*Witched, Tatyana Ali, and 98[degrees]! Pleeease…
DATES: Through Aug. 21
TICKETS: $20-30 (with a few shows priced in the teens)
WHAT TO WEAR: Dawson’s chic
WHAT TO LISTEN TO IN MOM’S CARAVAN: Hanson[crossed out] Spice Girls[crossed out] Backstreet Boys
WHAT TO PACK: A camera, ’cause two years from now you’re not gonna remember who played
WHAT YOU’LL END UP WITH: A sore throat What to pay a scalper $15
ALSO ON THE ROAD: Africa Fete, featuring Baaba Maal and Taj Mahal; and the strangely named Community Service Tour, with Orbital, Lo Fidelity Allstars, and the Crystal Method.
Solos & Duos
The comeback queen is on the road for the first time in eight years, supporting ”Believe,” her biggest hit since 1974. She’s been known to lip-synch live, but who cares? Half the fun is just seeing what Cher will wear.
DATES: Through Sept. 18
WHAT TO WEAR: Fishnet
WHAT TO LISTEN TO IN THE CHEVY MALIBU: Madonna’s True Blue
WHAT TO PACK: Your snotty kid, who used to laugh at your Cher records but is suddenly a believer
WHAT YOU’LL END UP WITH: An appointment with a plastic surgeon
WHAT TO PAY TO A SCALPER: $60