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The week's best TV Quotes

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”I would like to take this opportunity just to tell the press to kiss my skinny white a — .”
Calista Flockhart on Late Show With David Letterman

”I think I’m leaving Talk Soup at just the right time.”
Departing host John Henson, after a Loveline clip in which a guy said he was turned on by his girlfriend’s vomiting on him, on Talk Soup

”[George W. Bush] is a very fine man. So is Elizabeth Dole.”
Sen. John McCain, unintentionally dissing a fellow presidential contender, on Face the Nation

”My seventh album went gold instead of platinum. I had to get the medium-sized Jacuzzi!”
Weird Al Yankovic, mock-weeping, on Behind the Music

”Dingoes, jackals, skunks, vipers, and weasels are now illegal in New York City. Well, great — who’s going to run CBS?”
David Letterman on Late Show