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Sound Bites: The week's best TV Quotes

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”America Online…plans to invest $1.5 billion in the satellite TV company DirecTV. A spokesman for the two companies says their goal is to create the world’s first televised busy signal.”
Craig Kilborn on The Late Late Show

”I think it’s terrible, but not half as terrible as how you all got together and fired that blond chick.”
Rob Schneider, discussing Kosovo (and Debbie Matenopoulos), on The View

”Earlier tonight, Britney Spears appeared on an ABC special in a dress so see-through, the show had to be reedited…. Apparently you could see both her breasts and her plastic surgeon.”
Conan O’Brien on Late Night

”President Clinton will join fellow Democrats in New York City for a fund-raiser built around a performance of the play The Iceman Cometh. Well, I hope the Iceman is more careful where he cometh than Clinton was.”
Dennis Miller on Dennis Miller Live

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