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The week's best TV Quotes

TV’s funniest lines from June 19-24

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”JFK Jr. has written an article proposing that Americans be allowed to vote for President over the Internet. If it happens, it will be a very close race between George W. Bush and Alyssa Milano.”
Conan O’Brien on Late Night

‘Temperatures soared into the 90s today, and New York City police are so overwhelmed they’ve taken to violating suspects with a Popsicle.”
Jon Stewart on The Daily Show

Star Wars is the No. 1 movie in America for the third weekend in a row. Call me crazy, but I smell a sequel.”
Jay Leno on The Tonight Show

”I’m obsessed with one machine at the gym — the vending machine.”
Caroline Rhea, guesting on The Daily Show

”I wanted to invite every woman who’d ever turned me down, but then we would’ve had to add a second show.”
Ray Romano, discussing his recent Carnegie Hall gig, on Late Show With David Letterman