1 Robert De Niro
He wants to cut the ribbon on his new Brooklyn film studio. It says, POLICE LINE — DO NOT CROSS.
2 George Mallory
They didn’t find his frozen body on Mount Everest for 75 years. Because it’d been wrapped in aluminum foil and labeled ”Leftovers.”
3 Tommy Lee and Pamela
They’ve reunited for the sake of their kids — the kids of tabloid and gossip reporters.
The new cologne endorsed by the wrestlers of the WCW. Shouldn’t they have called it Brute?
5 National Etiquette Week
Miss Manners: If someone takes food off my plate, which fork do I stab his hand with?
6 Calista Flockhart
She canceled a Today show interview rather than discuss her weight. Can’t they talk about her sex life and salary?
7 Star Wars
Some folks stood in line all night to be the first to buy the toys. That’s something employers look for on a resume.
8 Don Johnson
The actor recently got married — for the fifth time. He’s one of the select few who get a volume discount on the honeymoon suite.
9 Commencement speeches
They’d better be good. The average student paid $48,000 to hear one.
10 Bryant Gumbel
He’s the new host of CBS’ This Morning. The show that crams 10 minutes of news into two hours.
11 Fox TV
Some think its reality shows are staged. That explains why the cops yell ”Cut!” instead of ”Freeze!”
Floridians are catching them in their own backyards. The hard part is getting the hook in Fido.
13 The Mummy
An ancient Egyptian kills everyone who opens his tomb. That’s the trouble with bringing people back to life — they’re so cranky.
14 Gay Pride Beer
It’s the latest idea of a Northampton, Mass., microbrewery. From the same folks who brought you Overweight Straight Men Ale.
The stage-shy performer will do one show in Las Vegas on New Year’s Eve. How did the folks at the MGM Streisand talk her into it?