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Eight Millimeter

Posted on

Nicolas Cage, 8mm, ...

Mystery Science Theater 3000

type:
TV Show
Current Status:
In Season
performer:
Mike Nelson

We gave it a C-

Tom Welles (Nicolas Cage) is what used to be colorfully called a private dick; he snoops for a living. But when we first meet him in ”Eight Millimeter,” he’s a colorless, self-employed taxpayer leading a drab existence in Harrisburg, Pa., drabber than which — as depicted — one cannot get without relocating to Bulgaria. Welles has a wife (Catherine Keener from ”Your Friends and Neighbors”) who doesn’t smile much, possibly because her husband is as impenetrable as Goretex. And he’s got an infant daughter, Cindy, whom he affectionately calls Cinderella, hugs for 20 seconds, then returns to her mother’s arms. When the man really wants to bust loose, he secretly smokes a forbidden cigarette, then lies to his wife about the source of the reek that wreathes him.

Welles’ life becomes considerably more exciting, however, when he’s hired by a wealthy, socially prominent old widow (Myra Carter). She’s upset because, among the contents of her late husband’s private safe, she has found an 8mm reel of film featuring a young woman who, one could swear, is being slashed to death. It’s a snuff film. And what the horrified widow wants the private eye to find out is, Who is the girl? And was the mutilation staged — or was she really murdered?

”Eight Millimeter,” a thriller as shredded to a pulp as the poor victim on Welles’ ”To Find” list, is the post-”Batman & Robin” project of Joel Schumacher, and it retains the director’s trademark lascivious ogling, camouflaged as lavish attention to art direction; the script is by ”Seven”’s Andrew Kevin Walker, and retains that stylistically influential 1995 thriller’s undiscriminating fascination with depravity. Following the trail of the unknown girl, Welles makes his way to L.A., where he burrows into the skeevy heart of the town’s fetish-movie industry, and the unlikely Dante meets an even more unlikely Virgil to guide him through the dark woods of taboo.

Wannabe rock star Max (Joaquin Phoenix), a clerk in an adult bookstore, is the kind of indulgently constructed movie character — a young actor’s dream — who’s so quirk-bedecked, he furtively reads ”In Cold Blood” wrapped in a dirty book so as not to attract shocked stares on the job. Max is hip and articulate; he’s also amazingly well-connected. And he takes his new friend on a tour of his turf, where the fathomless voraciousness of human appetites threatens to alienate Welles from his own ”decent” self.

”Eight Millimeter” hammers home these debatable, if old-news notions — that savage tastes live in average people, ready to be awakened with the right stimulus, and that those who watch porn (and by extension, those who are excited by this provocative movie about porn) are in some way complicit in the inevitable proliferation of porn — with all the subtlety of Dirk Diggler’s appendage. And then, as Welles moves on to rough-and-seedy New York City in pursuit of a skanky producer (James Gandolfini, powerful star of HBO’s ”The Sopranos”) and insinuates himself into the Goth lair of a satanic director of S&M movies, the movie devolves further; it becomes a pointless, violent, torture-or-be-tortured flick, in which the detective supposedly wrestles with his own most dehumanized instincts. You can tell Cage is wrestling because his face collapses inward with private pain even more than usual.

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