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Kramer's entrepreneurial spirit

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Oddly enough, the least gainfully employed of the four friends is the one brimming with entrepreneurial and life-enhancing schemes. Submitted for your stupefication, a list of batty brainstorms:

1. A pizza place where you can make your own pie (to be owned and operated by Kramerica Industries) Episode 4

2. A roll-out tie dispenser 5

3. Levels — a radical design concept that will transform his apartment into a pillow-strewn ”ancient Egypt” (later used as a scene in the NBC pilot Jerry) 7

4. The invisible coffee table, a transparent piece of furniture he builds out of a windshield; he and his then girlfriend (Elaine’s roommate) shatter it while making love 19

5. A cologne that smells like the beach (co-opted by ”the real” Calvin Klein as Ocean) 31, 51

6. Faking a ski lodge in his apartment with ersatz wood wallpaper 58

7. A coffee-table book about coffee tables, with legs and a built-in coaster on the cover 71

8. Dispensing with his fridge and eating only fresh food 89

9. The Bro (or ”Manssiere”) — a bra for chesty men 98

10. Turning his apartment into a Swedish spa via a hot tub 109

11. Da Vinci sleep — 20 minutes every three hours, based on Leonardo’s supposed slumber patterns 121

12. PB&J’s, serving only peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches 121

13. Wearing only hot-out-of-the-dryer (or pizza oven) clothes 123

14. A car equipped with a periscope for urban navigation 126

15. Using butter in place of shaving cream and suntan lotion 149

16. A particularly fruitful episode found him dreaming up a spill-preventing bladder system for oil tankers and a bottle to dispense mustard and ketchup, plus taking credit for renovating the Chrysler Building’s Cloud Club and 2.9 percent interest rates on Toyota one-ton trucks. 150

17. Realizing lengthy showers cut into productivity, he adds a garbage disposal to his drain, thus allowing for tub-time food prep. 157

18. Asserting that 94 percent of communication is nonverbal, he resolves never to speak again. 161

19. A fleet of rickshaws pulled by New York City’s homeless 165