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Glossary: Newman

All you need to know to understand ”Seinfeld”s nemesis

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THE BANKER STORY Alibi he and Kramer concoct to explain a speeding ticket in traffic court (Newman was racing home to prevent Kramer — depressed because he could never be a banker — from killing himself.) 42

THE BEACH He doesn’t go because he freckles. 32

BIG STRONG CIDER GUY He describes himself thusly to impress a farmer’s daughter. 124

BROCCOLI ”Vile weed”; his ordering of a side dish is the tip-off to Jerry of Kramer’s Kenny Rogers jones 134

THE CLEANER Elaine refers to him as this when Lippman needs to get rid of excess muffin stumps: ”He makes problems go away”; in that capacity, he also abducts a noisy dog. 147, 105

CROSS, CHRISTOPHER Sappy chart buster who’ll perform at his ”Newmannium” party 146

DRAKE’S COFFEE CAKE De-lectable snack he can’t resist 32

FRUIT He won’t eat the stuff (makes him incontinent). 32

HAWAII Tropical Eden he hopes to one day relocate to 136

JOKE BOY His derisive name for Jerry, a stand-up who specializes in ”inane observations” 128

KRAMER, BABS Mother of Cosmo, with whom he’s had a long-term, intimate acquaintance 93

MCDOWELL, ROGER New York Mets relief pitcher revealed to be the hocker of the ”magic loogie,” expectorated on him and Kramer 34

”NICE GAME, PRETTY BOY” Rude remark he makes to Keith Hernandez, instigating the above spitting incident 34

ONE PERFECT ANGEL He believes ”there is but one woman for each of us. One tulip we ceaselessly yearn for through-out our dreary, workaday lives.” In his case, it’s Elaine, ”a breathless beauty I fear I will never possess.” 128

PARKING TICKETS He hasn’t paid any in 20 years. 95

PUBLISHERS CLEARINGHOUSE DAY His (and every postal employee’s) most dreaded 24 hours 56

PURE EVIL…WRAPPED IN A TWINKIE Jerry’s wrathful description of his devilish, deceitful neighbor in 5E

RICKSHAW In explaining his and Kramer’s attempts to start an NYC fleet of them, he says (with typical elan) that they offer ”the romance of the hansom cab without the guilt or dander of the equine.” 165

RING-TAILED LEMUR He climbs trees like one (a skill learned in the Pacific Northwest). 160

SAM, SON OF He took over the serial killer’s mail route — and once double-dated with him! 102

”THREE TIMES A LADY” He sings this as his postal truck catches fire on Kramer’s stretch of adopted highway. 156

‘VOGUE’ He makes a birthday wish for a cover girl of the fashion bible

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