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Glossary: Elaine Marie Benes

All you need to know to understand ”Seinfeld”s leading lady

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ATOMIC SUB Local sandwich shop where she’s eating her way to Submarine Captain 158

BALDIST George accuses her of being one after she admits to never having dated a bald guy 25

BEAR CLAW Elaine’s Dumpster-diving boyfriend likens her to this pastry: ”The Bear Claw in my garbage bag of life” 162

THE BENES TATTOO Jerry says her charm leaves this indelible imprint on men 17

BIG FREAK HEAD Her self-ridiculing description of herself, inspired by an observation her bad-breaker-upper boyfriend makes; in a similar vein, George once describes her as a ”pretty woman, big wall of hair, face like a frying pan” 136, 52

BOGGLE Her idea of a bar mitzvah gift (to Mr. Lippman’s son, Adam) 151

CASTRO, FIDEL The image suggested by the coffee stain on her dress, discussed on Kramer’s Merv Griffin Show set (George thinks it looks like Art Garfunkel) 154

CHERRY BINACA Used to defend herself against Crazy Joe Davola in his psychopathic shrine of an apartment 47

”FULL-BODY DRY HEAVE SET TO MUSIC” George’s description of her spastic dancing 130

”FUNICULI, FUNICULA” Italian standard she belts out with the Maestro in his car 107

GREENLAND According to Jerry, she’s fascinated with it 61

GANDHI, MAHATMA She compares herself to the fasting Hindu while impatiently waiting for a table; when she isn’t allowed to eat for three days before taking an ulcer test, Jerry tells her about his pre-fast snack of choice (”Gandhi loved Triscuits”); she befriends an old woman who claims to have had an affair with him (”He used to dip his bald head in oil and rub it all over my body”) 16, 32, 56

THE ”[I HAVE TO] GET UP EARLY” ALIBI She says men often use it after sex — ”They all turn into farmers suddenly” 48

”HAKUNA MATATA” Ditty from The Lion King that she’s singing when Lou Filerman sidles up 154

KETCHUP Condiment she’s discussing with NBC prez Russell Dalrymple when he gets a load of her cleavage 54

THE LOOK Lustful gaze Jerry gives her when he wants to have sex with her 14

MEIR, GOLDA Her vote for the all-time ugliest world leader (George chooses Lyndon Johnson; Jerry picks Leonid Brezhnev) 55

MIMMA The name of the grandmother who favored her carnivorous cousin Holly’s side of the family 108

MUMFRY, BILLY The protagonist of the Viking Press novel she evaluates: ”A cockeyed optimist…caught up in a dirty game of world diplomacy and international intrigue” 100

‘MURPHY BROWN’ Jerry and George discover she’s submitting a script to the sitcom after violating her Covenant of the Keys 39

NEDDA Pagliacci’s doomed wife, and Crazy Joe’s nickname for Elaine 47

”NEXT STOP POTTERSVILLE” The big-band aficionado (thanks to her dad’s extensive record collection) wins a contest by recognizing this obscure song; her Empire State Building-shaped award ultimately impales the Woody Woodpecker balloon in the Thanksgiving Day Parade 90

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