1 Spice Girls
They sold out Madison Square Garden in 12 minutes. Of course many people were under the impression they’d be wrestling.
Doctors are swamped by requests from men who want prescriptions for the male-potency pill. Others are waiting till it comes as an ointment.
Viewers got to pick the newest VJ by popular vote. Now the losers want Ken Starr to investigate him.
4 The Big Hit
Mark Wahlberg plays a vicious contract killer with a heart of gold. Or is that just a big Chai pendant?
5 Jimmy Smits
The NYPD Blue star is leaving because he’s ”achieved what [he] wanted with [the] show.” To moon 15 million people.
6 Tim Allen
The Home Improvement star has checked into rehab. He’s not on drugs — he just likes to hang out with millionaire celebrities.
7 Jane Fonda
She had to apologize for comparing parts of rural Georgia to a Third World country. Only Jeff Foxworthy can do that.
8 Tarzan and the Lost City
He can’t find a shirt and a pair of pants, and you expect him to find a city?
9 Sliding Doors
Gwyneth Paltrow finds out how a tiny little thing like missing a subway can change a person’s whole life. That and being really beautiful.
It’s got a new razor that has three blades. Most guys are thinking ”Wow, one for each day of the week!”
11 Animal Kingdom
Disney brings the Serengeti to Florida. ”On your left, you’ll see an eleph — oh, that’s a water bug.”
12 The Players Club
A coed works as a stripper to put herself through college. Where she majors in business ethics.
13 Bill Gates
He’s now the first person ever to be worth $50 billion. The second will be Bill Clinton’s lawyer.
14 Culture Club
Boy George and the gang are planning a reunion tour. Things have changed a lot since they last performed 13 years ago. They’ll be opening for George Strait.
A miniseries about a wizard who uses tricks and deception to help the future king of Britain. Today it’s called public relations.