1 Lost in Space
The Robinson family becomes stranded on a strange planet devoid of intelligent life. But try as they might, they can’t get out of L.A.
2 Macaulay Culkin
The 17-year-old former child star announced he’s getting married. Then he hid under a table.
3 Michael Ovitz
The ex-Hollywood bigwig is planning to build malls. Will dinners at the Olive Garden become trendy?
4 Male-impotence pill
Why does this medical breakthrough cost up to $9 a pop? Because the main ingredient is ground-up little red sports cars.
5 The X-Files
It will be filmed in L.A. next season. The truth is out there, but you keep missing the exit, Mulder!
6 Ted Koppel
The Nightline anchor spent one night in a prison cell for an in-depth report. He practiced by staying at a Motel 6.
ABC’s jiggle-fest takes place on a college campus. The Baywatch Institute of Technology, no doubt.
8 Danielle Steel
The prolific author wed for the fifth time. Her vows ran 600 pages long.
9 From the Earth to the Moon
The Tom Hanks-produced miniseries on the space program. Not a show about Alice and Ralph Kramden.
10 Reader’s Digest
It’s overhauling its cover for the first time in 75 years. It’s now okay to show stars from the talkies.
11 A Price Above Rubies
The wife of a Hasidic intellectual is unhappy. What did she expect — club hopping?
12 Howard Stern
He may do a TV show to compete with Saturday Night Live. It’s called Lowest Common Denominator Theater.
13 Drew Carey
He took the first step toward a life of crime by smoking a cigarette in an L.A. restaurant. Next he’ll be tearing tags off mattresses.
14 Mercury Rising
A kid breaks the secret code of a shadowy government agency. He figures out what ”W-2” means.
15 Barney’s Great Adventure
No one over 5 years old wants to see the purple one in a movie — unless the words Chain Saw Massacre are in the title.