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Sound Bites

The week’s best TV quotes

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”Let’s go out and terrify some Baptists.” EMMA THOMPSON, preparing to ”out” herself, on Ellen

”Yesterday in Iowa a woman gave birth to septuplets. Doctors say the babies will be in the hospital for about six weeks, which should give the parents plenty of time to run away.” CONAN O’BRIEN on Late Night

”Barbie now is getting a bigger waist and a smaller chest…. Not surprisingly, earlier today, Ken announced he wants to start seeing other dolls.” DAVID LETTERMAN on Late Show

”The White House angrily denied charges that burial plots in Arlington National Cemetery were being handed out as political favors. Although presidential spokesman Mike McCurry did acknowledge it’s not easy to explain the Tomb of the Unknown Asian Contributor.” NORM MACDONALD on SNL