1 SEPTUPLETS What’s more difficult and odd than a woman having seven kids at once? Mrs. Michael Jackson having two.
2 ALIEN RESURRECTION The missing verse: ”I can fall into a vat of molten metal and come back 200 years later/’Cause I’m a woman, w-o-m-a-n.”
3 MARTHA STEWART She filed a lawsuit against a tabloid that said she has a mental disorder. She’d be crazy not to sue.
4 THE WINGS OF THE DOVE Not to give anything away, but The English Patient gets moved to A Room With a View of Howards End for The Remains of the Day.
5 FLUBBER Robin Williams invents flying rubber. The first major breakthrough in S&M clothing in years.
6 GOOD MORNING AMERICA They’ll get a studio with street windows. Next, they’ll hire hosts named Matt, Katie, and Al.
7 CAFE NERVOSA A coffee named after Frasier‘s hangout. Can we buy it from the Soup Nazi?
8 HANSON An estimated 30,000 teens saw them perform at a shopping mall. And for the first time in history, the Gap was empty.
9 THE LION KING The Broadway musical of the hit movie reportedly had advance ticket sales of $40 million. And another family of four is thinking of going too.
10 COOLIO The rapper was charged with shoplifting in Germany. It was a misunderstanding — he thought Guten Tag meant, ”For big stars like you, it’s free.”
11 THE JFK/MARILYN PAPERS Experts say they aren’t real. Her handwriting didn’t match on the word E-mail.
12 MARY AND RHODA A new TV show will reunite them. ”Who can turn the world on with her dentures?”
13 DESIGNER TATTOOS British trendies are having Gucci logos needled onto their skin. And to think I felt silly about that big L.L. Bean on my butt.
14 SPICE GIRLS Their new album, Spiceworld, isn’t selling as well as the last one. The clothes just weren’t as good.
15 CHUMBAWAMBA ”Tubthumping” is the band’s first hit in 15 years. People forget that LeAnn Rimes struggled that long too.