1 Kevin Costner He had Mikhail Gorbachev over to his house for dinner. They shared thoughts on once being in charge of huge bombs.
2 Chicken The food police say it makes more than 2 million people sick each year. Of course, you could say that about the Spice Girls, too.
3 Sleepwalkers A TV series about a man who can move around in other people’s dreams. And you thought telemarketers were annoying.
4 The Franklin Mint Ever tasteful, they’re selling a Diana doll. But my paparazzi dolls keep pushing it off the shelf.
5 Bob Hope The 94-year-old comedian will appear in a Kmart commercial: The Road to Aisle 7.
6 Halloween It’s the second scariest night of the year. The first is April 15.
7 Al Gore He’s taking flak for mentioning Ellen in a speech. The good news is that it’s okay for him to call donors from her office.
8 The X-Files The season opener: Agent Mulder discovers that aliens want to abduct Téa Leoni. He must move to L.A. to protect her.
9 Daylight Savings Time Why do we go back to regular time each fall? Because many people like to watch the sun set during lunch.
10 Gattaca Genetically perfect people living in a perfect world. Why don’t they just call it Rodeo Drive?
11 Lisa Kudrow Her real-life pregnancy will be worked into the show, which will now be titled Very Good Friends.
12 Backstreet Boys The latest teenybop singing sensation. If their voices get any higher, their next single will be called ”Here, Boy.”
13 Jewel The neo-hippie singer may do a movie with director Ang Lee — Incense and Sensibility.
14 Robert Downey Jr. He fell off the wagon. You should never stand up in it.
15 Kevin Bacon He’s upset that some swear words were cut out of his new movie. ”But, Kevin, it’s Heidi.”