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Article

Psychic Friend's Guesswork

10 Stupid Questions with Dionne Warwick

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Bacharach’s back, in case you hadn’t heard. Prominently featured in major movies like Austin Powers and My Best Friend’s Wedding, the music of the mawkish pop master has become the hipster soundtrack of the moment. But what’s up with Dionne Warwick, who recorded the definitive versions of Burt Bacharach standards like ”Walk On By” and ”I Say a Little Prayer”? Our psychic friend’s latest recording is a duet with Chuck Jackson titled ”If I Let Myself Go,” which appears on the veteran soul man’s just-released new album. We recently channeled Warwick for a brief chat.

1. Do you know the way to San Jose?

The plane lands there. If the pilot doesn’t know the way, I don’t. I’ve been told how to get there: It’s Rte. 101 to something else, and then you make a right at San Francisco. That’s all I know.

2. In the 1970s you worked with two of pop’s best-loved Barrys. Which wimpy singer would win in a boxing match, Manilow or Gibb?

That would depend on whether they’re boxing with their hands or their mouths. With their hands, I don’t think there would be a winner.

3. What’s the worst advice you ever got from a psychic?

The worst advice I ever got from anyone of that ilk was from an astrologist, Linda Goodman. She told me to put an e on the end of my last name in the late ’60s. I’d advise anybody that has a name to leave it alone. It’s the only thing you really own.

4. Hanson or the Spice Girls?

Who? I’ve heard of the Spice Girls but I’ve never heard of Hanson. You’d have to ask my little granddaughter. I know nothing about them.

5. Celine Dion or Deion Sanders?

Sanders. I’m a major football fan. My ultimate dream is to own an NFL franchise. He’s probably one of the better players that we have. They spell it differently but that’s okay.

6. You’re also an interior designer. What advice would you give a swinging bachelor who’s decorating his pad?

Don’t do it. Let me do it.

7. Of all the men you’ve collaborated with over the years, who has the worst hair?

[Long laugh] I don’t know, I’ve never thought about it. [Another long laugh] I really don’t know. Most of them seem to be pretty well groomed. They all run their hands through their hair during recording sessions, so by the end of the day everybody’s hair is standing all over their head. I think that’s how they stimulate their brain. Burt Bacharach’s hair was pretty questionable by the end of a session.

8. Using psychic powers, can you tell me what the next question will be?

I haven’t a clue.

9. Then can you tell me what Barry Manilow is thinking right now?

No, I can’t. Can you?

10. Could a psychic tell me?

You would have to ask a psychic.