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Sound Bites: The week's best TV quotes

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Barbra Streisand has asked the E! network’s Gossip Show not to call her Babs anymore. The only problem is now they’ve started calling her Poopy-Head.”
CONAN O’BRIEN, performing for a crowd of children, on Late Night

”He’s so antidrug he makes me look like Robert Downey Jr.”
SISTER PETER MARIE (RITA MORENO), a drug counselor, about a Muslim inmate, on HBO’s Oz

”A White House employee says [President Clinton] kissed and fondled her in an office at the White House and that it would have gone further but was interrupted by one of his illegal fund-raising calls.”
BILL MAHER on Politically Incorrect

”Yeah, I saw the Brad Pitt pictures. He’s butt naked smoking a cigarette. And the cigarette’s bigger.”
KEENEN IVORY WAYANS on The Keenen Ivory Wayans Show