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The funniest TV lines from the week of March 28, 1997

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”It’s an honor to be part of an industry…that has produced such classic films as Casablanca, Citizen Kane, and Booty Call.” Damon Wayans on the Blockbuster Entertainment Awards

”Bryant Gumbel is thrilled about his new CBS deal and can’t wait to get started alienating the staff of an entirely new network.” Craig Kilborn on The Daily Show

”H.J. Heinz has announced plans to lay off 3,000 workers. According to company spokesmen, employees who refuse to budge will be turned over and shaken vigorously until they slide out.” Norm Macdonald on Saturday Night Live