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”I don’t know — I don’t like baseball.” Jackie Collins, after Craig Kilborn asked her where the L.A. Lakers play, on The Daily Show

”I want to talk to you about making a movie of your life. The dating alone would be interesting.” Howard Stern to Matt Lauer on Today

”It would’ve been rude not to look at her. She was dancing in my lap.” Paul (Richard Kind), explaining to his girlfriend why he ogled a stripper, on Spin City

”This is just like when my parents divorced. I hope Ross doesn’t try to kidnap me after Cub Scouts.” Chandler (Matthew Perry), about Ross and Rachel’s breakup, on Friends