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First Kid

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The usually antic Sinbad sleepwalks through this stultifying kid comedy, in which he plays a hapless Secret Service agent guarding the President’s son (Brock Pierce). While the little brat tries to fit in at school and at the mall, our hero tags along, obliviously stumbling into slapstick situations we can see coming a mile away (Sinbad + roller skates + a birthday cake = guess what?). But even if the pratfalls had been more freshly imagined, they wouldn’t have made much difference. First Kid is so sluggishly paced that you’ll be joining Sinbad in slumberland. It’s so ineptly edited that one sight gag goes by so fast that it’s barely even there. Of course, video viewers have the advantage of rewinding to see what they missed. But what’s the point?