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THAT'S THE BREAKS

AND NOW SOME WORDS FOR OUR SPONSORS

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It was a good year for heeding Larry Sanders’ advice: ”No flipping.” Madison Avenue produced some sophisticated TV gems, though we were also forced to look at Dennis Rodman’s chest. Herewith, our picks. — AJJ

THE BEST

1. LEVI’S WIDE LEG JEANS A dying patient sings the ’80s cheeseball hit ”Tainted Love,” backed by his EKG. You’ll bust a gut.

2. ENERGIZER Just when you thought it was safe to hate that rodent, along comes this wicked Twister parody about bunny-chasing geeks.

3. SPORTSCENTER The bizarre trade of Melrose Place’s Andrew Shue for ESPN anchor Charley Steiner is even sillier than the Fox soap.

4. NISSAN Toy Story for adults, with a kick-ass cover of ”You Really Got Me.”

5. DORITOS This guy’s manic corn-chip-induced smile is the funniest face on television since Ross Perot’s.

THE WORST

1. MICHAEL JORDAN COLOGNE The hoopster gives commentary on his own golf game. And I want to smell like him because…?

2. BUD LIGHT Get abrasive phone-pranking Jerky Boys to push your product? A brilliant idea. Three years ago.

3. INFINITI Tough call, but the one with the swan-shaped hat is stuffy Brit actor Jonathan Pryce’s most pretentious and nonsensical yet.

4. SPRINT DIME-A-MINUTE Candice Bergen at a Mexican eatery strains to be funny but gives us heartburn.

5. O.B. ”Like a robot, I kept using the same tampon.” Sorry, never realized robots menstruated.