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Sound Bites

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”As you probably know, today was the second day of his life that Bob Dole got up, had nowhere to go, had absolutely nothing to do. He must feel like he won the vice presidency.”
Jay Leno on The Tonight Show

”Michael Jackson is expecting a child. No word yet on who the father is.”
Bill Maher on Politically Incorrect

”It was reported today that Barry Manilow is taking a year off to write a Broadway show. My question is, Taking a year off from what?”
Conan O’Brien on Late Night

”Let me just say one thing to President Clinton … David Brinkley is the David who thinks you’re boring. I’m the Dave who thinks you’re fat.”
David Letterman on Late Show

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