Entertainment Weekly


Stay Connected


Advertise With Us

Learn More

Skip to content


Sound Bites

Posted on

”What can you count on in this world other than the sun’s going to come up and every Ally Sheedy movie is going straight to video?”
— Ellen DeGeneres, after her parents decided to separate, on Ellen

”On the [Senate] floor I said, ‘Now, gentlemen, let me tax your memories,’ and [Sen.] Kennedy jumped up and said, ‘Why haven’t we thought of that before?”’
— Bob Dole, on liberals’ inclination to tax, during the debates

”Who says baseball players aren’t heroes? Baltimore Oriole Roberto Alomar promised a kid in the hospital he’d spit on two umpires.”
— David Letterman on Late Show

”Last week Mother Teresa suffered a concussion. Doctors say she is back to normal except for one thing: She now hates poor people.”