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Sound Bites

The week’s funniest TV quotes

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”It’s like an episode of Nash Bridges around here.”
— Captain Gaffney (Walt MacPherson), on Homicide: Life on the Street, dissing a cop-show competitor

”Bob Dole says tobacco is not addictive, but I don’t know if I believe him. He also says asbestos is a good source of fiber.”
— Kevin Nealon on Late Night With Conan O’Brien

”Mental stability.”
— Morton Kondracke, explaining what running mate Pat Choate adds to Ross Perot’s ticket, on The McLaughlin Group

”Our show is three years old today. Which means that children born the night of our first show are finally old enough to work for Kathie Lee Gifford.”
— Conan O’Brien on Late Night